thoughts & notes

the more alone you are, the louder your thoughts get. 

sometimes i'll stop & write myself a little note, or an email, with thoughts. thoughts that stop me in my tracks. thoughts that i couldn't bare to ever forget. 

sometimes it happens late at night, other times it happens whilst i'm staring up at some amazing monument, sometimes it happens in the starbucks queue...  

tonight's thoughts - definitely ones never to forget. 

*****

how do i hold onto this feeling, how do i retain this boldness.

 will i just become the same person i was before... surely i can't, surely there will be an air about me that exudes what i have done, what i have experienced.  What i have seen.

for me, this was huge. i am doing it, i did it, i did alone.

*****

my mind is different now, i feel like i want more for me than what i

 had before. 

sure i still want career success, but i want culture, i want regular eye opening experiences, i want knowledge, ...i just want more.
 

how do i not just slip right back into the rut i had before... how do i change when everything around me remains the same.  

 it's now like the coming home will be harder than the leaving. 

                                                             

*****

 

a piece of home arrives tomorrow. a short delightful brunette reminder of what i am heading back to. this will be good, this will be my trial run... My Test... Can i remain my solo self around those that know me best.


Sent from Olivia's iPad